Sunday, March 29, 2009

wish you had known?

From zenhabits ...

This post is over a year old but, hey, it holds true.

20 Things I Wish I Had Known When I Was Starting Out is a posting about what the author, a 35 year old would tell his 18 year old self. Most of it is obvious--stay active, invest, etc.

My favorite is #15.
"Forget the drama. Focus on being happy. There have been many things that have happened to me, professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they get blown up in our heads so that they become major drama. They caused me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. If I realized that it was all in my head, and that I could be happy instead if I focused on the positive, on what I did have, and what I could be doing … I could have skipped all the moping about."
I'm pretty sure that my experience with drama is not like the author of zenhabits. I managed to get sucked into to other people's drama. Drama is tiring. I like that the drama has been cut out of my life. I don't think I could stand it--I'm too tired of that crap.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Humor in Life

I liked this one... Sometimes doesn't it seem true?


From The Chalkboard Manifesto.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Have trouble saying no?

Do you have trouble saying no to things that you don't want to do? My bet is that you probably feel entitled to give more information than you need to. Something to remember is that you are your own person and you do not have to feel like you need to give the deets. Here are some phrases to help you through the awkwardness:

-Thanks for asking me to your _____ . Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it.
If they keep asking... repeat yourself one time in a nice, yet firm, manner.
I appreciate your invitation, but I won't be able to make it.

-
I have some personal things to attend to that I can't really explain right now.

-I am not interested in _____ . Thank you for calling.


What works for you?

Monday, March 16, 2009

How do you call a hotline?

If you have never called a hotline before you might not know what to say or what to expect. Here are a couple things to know. First, you can find the number for your local crisis line in the front of your phone book but sometimes it is difficult to find. If you can not find the number in the phone book, dial 211 for the United Way. They will put you in contact with the local crisis line or the 1.800 number for your state.

Keep in mind what services are offered by line you call. For example, in my community the local hotline is staffed by professionals and volunteers. What that means is that their services are primarily to offer support for the issue you are going through; referrals to local community service boards, legal services, or counseling centers; sexual assault advocacy; or contact with emergency personnel. By no means is this a replacement for professional counseling, in most cases this is more of a peer assistance. These local lines may have people answering the phone who have training in certain issues, but typically they are not equipped to deal with emotional counseling. If you call a line and are unaware of the services provided, just ask. The person answering the phone will be more than glad to answer your questions, and, connect you with a service that can help you more appropriately. Most states also offer a Crisis & Access Line. This line is staffed by certified professional counselors and social workers who are specifically trained in counseling.

So what do you do when you call a crisis line?
Keep in mind that the majority of hotlines operate on an anonymous basis. This is to assure that you, the caller, feel comfortable enough to share all the appropriate information with the crisis line. Crisis lines get funding from grants. What that means is that to keep getting money, they have to provide demo graphics about their callers. Does that mean that you HAVE to give all your personal information? No. If you aren't comfortable, you don't have to. You can give general information, such as, age, gender, first name. With this the crisis line you call can receive funding so that the next time you need to call, they will still be there so you have someone to connect with. Another thing to consider is to give a first name or nickname that the crisis line worker can call you. This way you can be called by name and not "Hey you."

When you speak to the hotline, give a phone number and let staff know if the number is a safe number (especially if you are calling about a domestic violence incident). Let them know if you want to be called back if you are disconnected. If you are in an unsafe situation or suicidal, give your address. This way if you need emergency assistance, it can be sent on the way.

Other information to tell the crisis line worker, are you in a safe place? What happened right before your crisis? What triggered your current emotions or feelings? Are you injured? If so, what is it? Is this something that can be resoved on the phone or do you think that you need to go to a hospital? Do you have any emergency contacts?

Keep in mind that you called the crisis line for assistance. Obviously, something is bothering you enough to call in. Be willing to try the suggestions offered and dont second-guess the staff worker--for example, don't say, "Yes, but..." Accept the suggestions that a crisis line worker is offering. If the feelings persist, get a referral to a counseling center.

Crisis Lines

Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence/Child Abuse/ Sexual Abuse: 800.799.SAFE
Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.829.1122

Sexual Assault

Nationwide RAINN National Rape Crisis Hotline: 800.656.4673
Sex Addicts Anonymous: 800.477.8191
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE

Eating Disorders

Eating Disorders: 800.931.2237
National Mental Health Association: 800.969.6642 (M-F, 9-5)

Suicide & Self.Injury

Suicide: 800.SUICIDE
Boys Town Suicide and Crisis Line: 800.448.3000
National Hopeline: 800.HOPELINE
Self.Injury: 800.DONT.CUT
National Suicide Hotline: 800.273.TALK
Suicide Hotline in your state: http://www.suicidehotlines.com/

Child Abuse
ChildHelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline: 800.4.A.CHILD
National Child Abuse Hotline: 800.25.ABUSE

Missing Children or Runaways

Missing Children Network: 800.235.3535
CONFIDENTIAL Runaway Hotline: 800.231.6946
Al.A.Teen: 800.352.9996
National Youth Crisis Hotline: 800.442.HOPE
National Runaway Switchboard: 1.800.621.4000

Elder Abuse
Elder Abuse Hotline: 800.252.8966
Alzheimer's Association Hotline: 800.621.0379 (M-F, 8:30-4)

STIs and AIDS
National Sexually Transmitted Disease Hotline: 800.227.8922 (M-F, 8a-11p EST)
National AIDS Hotline: 800.342.AIDS

Substance Abuse
Alcohol Abuse and Crisis Intervention: 800.234.0246
Alcohol and Drug Abuse Helpline and Treatment: 800.234.0420
Alcohol Hotline Support & Information: 800.331.2900

Victim Services

National Victim Center: 800.FYI.CALL

Need more:

http://www.essortment.com/articles/hotline_100016.htm There are a lot more specific options here
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/crisis_hotlines.htm

Friday, March 13, 2009

Site: New York Times
Post: Patients seen putting off surgery, or rushing it
Author: Kevin Sack
Posting's URL link: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/14/us/14surgery.html?_r=1&hp
"The slowdown is likely to have significant financial repercussions. Elective operations are typically covered by private insurance plans that tend to reimburse hospitals and doctors at higher rates than government insurance programs like Medicare and Medicaid. As those payments dwindle, so do hospital profit margins and the resources to provide charity care to a growing number of uninsured."
The interesting thing is that this does not just apply to elective surgeries. People are declining to obtain healthcare because they cannot afford to make the co-pay or the "bread-winner" of the family recently lost his or her job; and, the insurance stopped.

Now I know that when you leave a job voluntarily, the employee has the option to enroll in a COBRA plan. But, I have to admit that I don't know what happens when you are laid off. I can only deduce that some sort of COBRA or equivalent plan is available.

At least I hope so.

For example, my husband's company like many other companies, has issued lay-offs. One particular lay-off strikes a chord with me. A man who had been with the company for over a decade was given a pink slip the day before his wife was scheduled to have a C-Section for their first child. THE DAY BEFORE. So what do they do next? Does the couple call the OB and ask them to move the time-line forward 24 hours so that they have full access to the health benefits?

What would you do?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Disturbing to me

Site: Saudi Gazette
Post: Girl gets a year in jail, 100 lashes for adultery
Author: Adnan Shabrawi
Posting's URL link: http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?method=home.regcon&contentID=2009020828735

JEDDAH – A 23-year-old unmarried woman was awarded one-year prison term and 100 lashes for committing adultery and trying to abort the resultant fetus.

The District Court in Jeddah pronounced the verdict on Saturday after the girl confessed that she had a forced sexual intercourse with a man who had offered her a ride. The man, the girl confessed, took her to a rest house, east of Jeddah, where he and four of friends assaulted her all night long.

The girl claimed that she became pregnant soon after and went to King Fahd Hospital for Armed Forces in an attempt to carry out an abortion. She was eight weeks’ pregnant then, the hospital confirmed.

According to the ruling, the woman will be sent to a jail outside Jeddah to spend her time and will be lashed after delivery of her baby who will take the mother’s last name.

I have to admit that I did not find this news story on my own. I found it via Rusty Lime.
Site: Rusty Lime
Post: Why We Still Need the Feminist Movement
Author: Laiste
Posting's URL link: http://www.rustylime.com/show_article.php?id=3347

I wanted to start my new blog off with a light-hearted post; but, I keep returning to this post by Laiste at the Rusty Lime. Of course, the topic strikes me because I am a woman; yet, in reality, I pay more attention now because of my role in the community (in education, mental health, and counseling). I could sit here and wish I had started paying attention earlier...

Laiste mentioned that the United States has the highest rape statistics among countries who report such information. I knew the trends within America but, honestly, I had not looked at them in a global sense. I did not realize that U.S. rape occurs 13 times more than in England and 20 times more than in Japan. Instead I focused on the fact that a person is sexually assaulted in the U.S. every 2 minutes. Seventy-three percent of victims know their assailants. What is worst is that ther are resources available to a victim of sexual assault. For example, in my community where I work for the Crisis Line we are able to advocate services to victims 24 hours a day/7 days a week. If someone goes to the emergency room for a rape exam, we will be at the hospital within 20 minutes to help the victim through the experience so that they do not have to go through the experience alone. I can understand the public may not be aware of this but ALL of the emergency rooms (ER) are. We have a terrible time getting the ER's to call us. There are some nights where the Crisis Line phone does not ring.

Now, I have gone on in a different direction than I originally planned. I like what the author, Laiste, wrote. She called the woman's experience for what it really is-rape, and a gang-rape at that. She pulled in appropriate links to support her post. She made intelligent comments. Seriously, why is a woman punished for a gang-rape stating that she, as an unmarried woman, committed adultery? In addition, she had to dig deep within herself and, ultimately, decided to seek an abortion and now will be punished for this soul-searching choice and then forced to have the baby.

I do not even know what part of this story upsets me the most.